Giving Hugs and Love
"No matter how strong a person is, they have a weak point and sometimes all they need is a hug"
This process has opened my eyes to many things. The emotional part of dealing with a child's sickness is like a crazy roller coaster. One minute you're angry, the next minute you're grateful and then there is about a bazillion other emotions in between. It's like grieving, but in a weird way it's helped me fully find myself and understand my emotional needs.
I can say that I have finally adjusted to some things, like living in a bubble. It's my safe place. I've learned to love and appreciate every square inch of my home. So much that it's extra germ free and cleaner than it's ever been! I appreciate uneventful days, full of snuggles with my girl and I love that my days aren't crammed to the brim with commitments I made and I now enjoy being able to just be. Being in a bubble comes with some tough stuff too. Some days I feel like I have too much time to think. Sometimes my thinking makes me sick, physically and mentally. I realized I HATE being alone this much, but I'm kind of forced to be ok with it. And I realized human interaction is so important to live a happy, full life!
My best friend came to see me this week. We planned an outdoor playdate so the kids could run around, but there would be less germs outside. When I saw her car pull up I felt so relieved. There's a human at my house. Someone other than my husband and mama(love you guys!) I hadn't seen her at this point in MONTHS. If you know us, then you know that we did everything together before Arlie got sick. She's that friend that has always went above and beyond to be there for me. The friend that knows my weaknesses and flaws and fears and just gets me. She's always, ALWAYS been there. I know we all have that friend! Stop what you are doing and tell them you love em!
But all of this has been hard for us. She can't just be there for me like she used to. She can't just show up at my house whenever she wants with cronuts, lattes, wine and fattening calzones that we can emotionally eat. That's our love language...just being there. As soon as we sat down in the front yard I started crying. It's crazy how just physically seeing someone can make you feel.(Hot Mess express over here) The rest of the visit was filled with chaos because 2 toddlers and a baby....enough said! When she left she gave me a big, germy hug and I went inside and cried some more. I just needed that hug.
I was also able to see more lifelong besties today. They gave me hugs, they loved on me and it made me feel all the feels! Physical touch is important and I didn't realize how important that was for me. Being able to touch them and see them was healing all on its own. I'm ending this long week feeling recharged. I realized it's important to get loved on. As mamas, we give ALL of our hugs and love to our sweet babies. No questions asked. No matter how tired or drained we might be, we will never think twice to give them our everything, but I think it's safe to say a lot of us don't save some of that love for ourselves. That's why it's important to have special people in your lives to help take care of us and our emotional needs. Husbands, wives, best friends, close loved ones... they can help us! Be thankful next time your are with someone you love. Let them know it. HUGS!